Look, he’s not strictly goth (think make-up, black velvet, blood vials) – but for the purpose of humor I am talking about the ghostly goth-looking, black-wearing, skinny dads that seem to always look out of place… even at home! He wears black, always, even in the summer. Just black, black tee, black jeans, black hat, black socks – you get the idea? Conversely, his skin glows a ghostly pale white – he’s almost translucent! He’s sullen and sulky and serious, this is reflected in his music choices. Feeling feelings and being sad is ok. As he only wears black Father’s Day gifts are a simple choice with these t-shirts 

Symptoms: 

1. Everything is black… even his outlook
2. Wears black… until they come out with something darker
3. He’s not sad, he’s melancholic
4. Translucent skin, seriously, he blinded someone when exposing a leg once
5. So skinny his bones get sunburnt
6. Dislikes other humans, except his family … sometimes
7. Was once mistaken for Robert Smith… and is proud of that. 
8. Runs the local renaissance fair to historical perfection
9. Still dyes his hair (don’t ask what color)

Words to live by:

“Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.”

His hobbies include: 

1. Death Metal
2. Ren Fairs
3. Vampires

His ideal gift would be: 

• Being a vampire