Dad Types #11 Big Daddy

He is a big big big man, unhealthily large, intimidatingly huge! But Is he a Big Teddy Bear at heart? Maybe he is a BFG – Big Friendly Giant – he looks big and mean and intimidating BUT in reality is he totally harmless! Is he so big that people wonder if he was a wrestler or a whale? But are his hugs the best! He probably should try to lose some weight, but he loves his food. Really loves his food. Then he should try to squeeze into these Tees – also available in Big & Tall sizing, obviously.

Symptoms: 

1. Is the subject of many “Yo Daddy so fat….” jokes
2. Eats everyone’s leftovers
3. Keeps snacks in his car… just in case (!)
4. Wears a pretty diabetes bracelet and all clothing has an X in the size
5. He has a pincer tool to grab things from the sofa so he doesn’t have to get up
6. He rates and compares all restaurants based on “portion size”
7. Walks at 0.3 mph… and is STILL out of breath
8. Has actually broken chairs sitting in them
9. He takes more than a minute to stand up
10. Often yells at his kids… “If I have to get up I’m gonna be so mad!”

Words to live by: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

His hobbies include: 

1. Eating at home
2. Eating out
3. Eating some more

His ideal gift would be: 

• Everything on the Cheesecake Factory menu. Twice pls